Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
