we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
