lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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