nut hugger
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
