She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
