Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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