In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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