but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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