i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
