This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
