"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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