so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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