Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
