If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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