Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so let's talk penis.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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