glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
