id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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