I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize