Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize