one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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