a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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