you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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