That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
COCAINE IS GR8
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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