Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
