dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want her autograph on my taint
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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