I want to stick my p in your. b.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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