He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
