I hate all girls vehemently.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have post one night stand depression
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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