Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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