Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
