No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
