; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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