my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize