People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
