SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
