do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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