I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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