Sponge bath it is.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
