I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
