We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
