Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize