have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
