if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize