So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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