Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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