Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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