how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
3 2 1 whiskey
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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