She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
