What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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