no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I see more hoeing in ur future
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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