i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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