my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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