Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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