dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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