she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
