By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I got inside last night via doggy door
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
