oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
