I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Pappa wants mamma naked
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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