note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
