just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
