I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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