I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
