I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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