Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
