I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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