Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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