I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
