Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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