her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
