He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
