"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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