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one two three fourrrrnication!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
